awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
