so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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