Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
