And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Is Oprah even human
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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