Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
