You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
