I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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