Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
