this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
