i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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