I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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