apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
