Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Still dying that you shit outside
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
