drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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