No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
