Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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