It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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