Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
