btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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