I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
