Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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