Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
