This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
