We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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