You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
