I want to have your abortion
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
