I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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