it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
