yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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