the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
