I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
