The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
When are your genitals available?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
