Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
