what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
