i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
