Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
