Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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