The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
