I need help removing her.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
