I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize