It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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