I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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