question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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