So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
