So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
