Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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