she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
