We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
