dude i'm inner monologue high
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
