But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
