Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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