He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
