Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize