Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
