Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
