NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
