I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
