Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
one two three fourrrrnication!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
