So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
