wrigley field is MILF paradise
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
