You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
