That's when you crack a 10am beer
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I can't put those talents on a resume
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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