Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
