I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
