you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize