I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
