My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize