lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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