In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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