I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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